All posts by h79snht.top

FADE IN:

EXT. A BUSY CITY CENTRE – DAY.

A throng of shoppers, bedecked in summer attire and all carrying a multitude of bags and slurping cold drinks, collectively stop in their tracks at a disorientating noise from above. They squint into the sun-speckled sky, instinctively pulling their children to them as they cower in fear and confusion.

The humid air is whipped into a tepid breeze as dust and street debris dance around them. Some run for cover into shop entrances but their route is blocked further by a number of armed, uniformed guards who appear en masse down each side of the high street. They are suspiciously good-looking to a man. Models hired by the hour.

Above is a helicopter, camouflaged and festooned with the logo of a well-known betting company. Frantic jostling ensues to create a circle large enough in this pedestrianised area for the chopper to land but instead it hovers barely twenty feet above the chaos; its blades rattling the windows of the upper floors of each megastore.

From an unseen PA system music blares out. The Ride of the Valkyries: booming and loud. Only the familiar baritone of Brian Blessed quietens it.

“Good people of planet Earth. The battle has been fought. Now it’s time for war!”

A ladder unfurls from the side of the chopper and a soldier emerges. Then another. And another. Their descent is clumsy and tentative.

“Last year these valiant brothers secured fourth. Third had better look out,” Blessed intones, his voice as serious as a nuclear countdown. “Their blood, sweat and tears are our blood, sweat and tears. We fight as one.”

At this moment, as the third soldier touches terra firma with some considerable relief and kicks aside a half-eaten choc ice that has been abandoned in the panic, their faces become familiar to the crowd.

There is the defender who missed half of last season with a stubbed toe. There’s the midfielder who is currently holding the club to ransom to increase his ‘insulting’ seventy-five grand a week salary. There’s the striker who was seen out clubbing just hours after the club’s humiliating derby defeat last October.

“These legends of the turf. These gods who play as we dream.”

The players’ faces are perfectly still and set to kill besides a faint flicker of acknowledgement from the striker at being referred to as a god. As Wagner’s magnum opus finally dies away to be immediately replaced with Tina Turner’s Simply The Best, all accompanied by a cacophony of fireworks, a child can be heard wailing.

The players exchange a quick glance. Now is the moment that they practised for at the behest of a club employee after training a few weeks ago.  With Chippendale panache they tear off their army fatigues that are loosely held together at the back. The big reveal is upon us.

Blessed is roaring something about ten per cent off for all season card holders, Tina is screeching ‘better than all the rest’, while the fireworks are lost in the bright sky but their whizzes and crackles and whistles deafen all around. The players adopt the same pose Mad Bazzer down the Rose and Crown does every time a student accidentally jogs his pint-arm; fronting up, their faces curled into belligerent fury.

A supporter of the club deep among the throng takes stock of the new kits. The home, the away, the gratuitous third. Though pristine and sleek he notices they are almost identical to last season’s regalia save for a thin strip of red piping down the arms.

“We play to win. We dress to impress. We are you and you are we”. To be honest, Blessed isn’t making much sense anymore.

The model soldiers fire blanks into the air and the helicopter rises up and away. The players meanwhile panic, realising they haven’t been briefed for this part. They are stranded in civilian-ville and with no phones to call their agents may be forced to actually interact with people. These valiant brothers exit as hastily as they can.

FADE OUT

INT. A TYPICAL FAMILY HOME – DAY

A boy watches a short video wide-eyed on his phone. Post-production has since added numerous explosions and weirdly some lasers. The awkward moment when the defender performs a bow then swiftly legs it into Debenhams has been edited out. The boy approaches his father who is sitting in an armchair.

Boy: Dad, you know it’s my birthday next month. Well…

He presses play and holds his phone up.

Dad: A hundred f***ing quid for a football shirt? It’s exactly the same as the one you’ve already got!

Boy: But the explosions, dad. The explosions. And look there…no closer. The bit of red.

FADE TO BLACK

Chelsea are closing in on their second signing of the summer with reports from Sky Sports News journalist Kaveh Solhekol claiming that a fee has been agreed for Roma defender Antonio Rudiger.

Solhekol goes on to state that the Germany international, fresh from winning the Confederations Cup in Russia, will have a medical in Los Angeles where he is currently on holiday.

The 24-year-old will make the move from the Italian capital to Stamford Bridge for a fee which could reach up to £34m, and will be the Blues second addition of the summer after former Manchester City shot-stopper Willy Caballero was brought in as a replacement for the now-Bournemouth man, Asmir Begovic.

Blues manager Antonio Conte has appeared desperate to add some mettle to his back line ahead of a return to the Champions League alongside their Premier League title defence, and it is certainly needed after the departure of both John Terry, who left after his contract expired, and Nathan Ake who has also made the move to Bournemouth from west London.

Having worked wonders with their side last season, plenty of Chelsea fans are backing Conte on his call to splash such a fee on the Roma man…

However, a few fans are far from happy with a move for the German…

It’s fair to say Liverpool’s signing of Andrew Robertson from Hull City hasn’t exactly set the football community alight.

Having been linked with the likes of Virgil van Dijk and Naby Keita for eye-watering fees already, the arrival of an £8m left-back from the Championship doesn’t seem enough to set the heart rate going.

The lack of enthusiasm seems ironic considering how many people were screaming that Liverpool needed a left-back this time last summer. Perhaps it is a testament to how well the versatile James Milner has adapted to the role, or perhaps it’s because fans wanted to see a bigger name – Ryan Bertrand being one of a few that spring to mind.

There seems to be a mentality – perhaps as a result of the monopoly the big spenders at the top (namely Manchester City, Chelsea and historically Manchester United) have at the top of the league – that clubs need to sign established and well-known stars to have any chance of glory.

This isn’t always the case, however. History shows it’s much more important to spread the wealth and quality to build a side that can truly challenge for the title. Take Chelsea last year as an example; while they had stars like Eden Hazard and Diego Costa to provide the goals, most people put their title victory down to N’Golo Kante.

I’m not for a minute suggesting that Kante was not regarded as one of the league’s if not the world’s top midfielders after his title success at Leicester, but his importance to the side came not just from adding quality in the middle of the park, but also adding dynamism and power where the previous partnership of Nemanja Matic and Cesc Fabregas had been lacking.

Similarly with Marcus Alonso and David Luiz (incidentally two signings that were met with indifference and, for the latter, confusion), it was less about adding quality and more about bringing weak areas up to scratch. Chelsea’s only left-sided defender at that point was Baba Rahman, meaning Cesar Azpilicueta was required to fill in.

What Jurgen Klopp has done is not only mirrored that by bringing in a natural left-footed full-back (arguably freeing Milner up to play elsewhere), but also plugged a gap that sorely needed plugging and raised the overall quality of the squad rather than the individual.

It’s fitting to see Klopp – who succeeded so well at Dortmund through team-spirit, work-rate and improving lesser-known talents like Mario Gotze, Matts Hummels and Marco Res – would take this approach rather than blowing an inflated fee on a bigger name.

Having star players will only get you so far; something Liverpool fans will remember too well.

In the 2013/14 season they had the undisputed best player in the Premier League as Luis Suarez managed 31 goals and 12 assists in 33 games – head and shoulders above anyone else.

But having Suarez wasn’t quite enough as in the end, Liverpool’s title failings came down to a defence with Glen Johnson, Jon Flanagan and a regularly injured Daniel Agger.

Those were gaps that needed filling. Talent only gets you so far when the rest of the squad is lacking.

If people need reminding what hard work and having a player in every position gets you, they need only look at Leicester’s title-winning campaign. Danny Simpson and Marc Albrighton were unglamorous names but could hardly be called a weak link after performing admirably for the entire campaign.

While Leicester’s feat won’t be repeated for quite some time, a side that has eleven men aware of their roles and with an incredible team spirit can be replicated – and having stars like Sadio Mane or Phillipe Coutinho doesn’t hurt either.

Perhaps that is what football fans should be more excited about.

According to reports from Sky Sports, Newcastle United are on the verge of signing Stoke City forward Joselu in a £5million deal.

They’re said to have already agreed personal terms with the Spaniard, who has completed a medical ahead of his expected move to St. James’ Park.

The Magpies are clearly in need of more options, particularly in attack, if they’re to comfortably stave off the threat of relegation this season.

But is Joselu the right man for the job? The 27-year-old’s only full season at the Bet365 Stadium produced just four league goals, whilst he managed five in 20 appearances on loan at Deportivo last term.

At first glance, the former Real Madrid man doesn’t particularly improve on what Newcastle already have, namely last season’s top scorer Dwight Gayle and target man Aleksandar Mitrovic.

So, Newcastle fans, do you view Joselu as a smart signing or a flop in the making? Let us know by voting below…

Alexis Sanchez had been linked with a move away from Arsenal all summer, but after the transfer deadline passed at 11pm last Thursday, the Chilean was still at the club.

An impasse in contract talks was reached in the early stages of the 2016-17 campaign, suggesting that the 28-year-old was looking for a new challenge.

On the final day of the summer window, Manchester City lodged a £60m offer, which according to The Mirror, was accepted.

However, it seems that the deal was scuppered after the Gunners failed to land the signature of Monaco star Thomas Lemar.

Goal.com reported that Sanchez was furious that the transfer did not go ahead, and that he is considering going on strike until he can leave the club in January.

The former Barcelona star has not spoken directly about the collapsed move, but he posted some cryptic messages on social media while on international duty with Chile.

According to Goal.com, Sanchez posted four separate quotes on an Instagram story.

“When the world reminds you of your defeats, remind them of your unforgettable victories.”

“A winner is just a loser who tries more than once.”

“What you do matters, but the reason you do it matters much more.”

“You will realise that what today seems like a sacrifice, will end up being the greatest achievement of your life.”

Unless the forward signs a new contract, he will be allowed to leave Arsenal as a free agent at the end of the season.

According to reports from The Telegraph, Chelsea and Leicester City are continuing negotiations over the potential transfer of Danny Drinkwater, who is being eyed as a midfield reinforcement for the reigning champions.

The England international was a key part of the Foxes side that won the Premier League title in between the Blues’ last two crownings, playing alongside now-Chelsea star N’Golo Kante, and has proved himself to be a hardworking, reliable performer with a touch of quality.

However, the same publication also claim the Blues are interested in Everton’s Ross Barkley, a somewhat more exciting English midfielder technically who can offer more going forward, whether he’s deployed in the engine room or slightly further up the pitch.

It seems unlikely Chelsea will seal deals for both before the transfer window slams shut later this week. So, Blues fans, would you prefer your club to sign the sturdier, more defensive Leicester City ace, who Transfermarkt value at just £8.1million, or the creative Everton man? Let us know by voting below…

Arsenal have long been attributed with an interest in Real Madrid striker Karim Benzema and a move could materialise next summer, according to Spanish outlet Don Balon.

What’s the story?

Although not the most reliable of reports, Don Balon’s claim that Florentino Perez will use his authority at Real Madrid next summer to reshape Zinedine Zidane’s squad is certainly possible and a new-look side could be created.

Karim Benzema, now 29, could find himself on the way out as Real Madrid consider options to rejuvenate their forward line, with their list of targets including Atletico Madrid star Antoine Griezmann and Juventus’ Argentine sensation Paulo Dybala.

With Marco Asensio and Isco stepping-up to become crucial players for Real Madrid over the course of the past 12 months, the reliability on the likes of Benzema, Cristiano Ronaldo and Gareth Bale has significantly decreased- which could lead to changes.

Bale has himself struggled with regular injury problems and could be sold to provide funds for a move next summer, whilst Benzema will likely seek an exit as he won’t want to play second-fiddle and Real Madrid would accept his wishes after years of service that has seen him lift 14 titles in the Santiago Bernabeu.

Is there still a place at Arsenal?

Whilst some may feel the ship has sailed for Benzema and Arsenal due to the summer signing of Alexandre Lacazette, the Gunners still have a desire to rejuvenate their attacking options- especially as it’s highly likely Alexis Sanchez will leave next summer.

Benzema could therefore slot into Arsenal’s line-up as the first-choice striker, with Lacazette dropping behind his compatriot and playing alongside World Cup winner Mesut Ozil- assuming the former Real Madrid man pens a new deal.

Former Lyon man Benzema will turn 31 in December next year, so cannot be seen as a long-term solution for Arsenal, but they may need to strengthen their ranks as Olivier Giroud, who turns 31 this month, may bring an end to his time in North London.

The striker was offered the chance to leave the Emirates Stadium this summer but elected to stay and fight for his spot in the side, scoring a dramatic winner on the opening weekend victory over Leicester City, but has found first-team opportunities limited since.

Emmanuel Petit had, by all accounts, an interesting career as a professional footballer. And his best football came for the two clubs in red for whom he was signed by Arsene Wenger.

The first, Monaco, was where he started his professional career, plucked from Normandy in the north and brought to the Principality in the south, where Wenger was in charge of one of the best club sides in France.

There, in his very first season as a professional footballer, Petit played – and lost – a Coupe de France final against Marseille, where he lined up in a team which included Glenn Hoddle, George Weah, Claude Puel and Patrick Battiston, the man who lost three teeth enduring a horrific tackle from West Germany goalkeeper Harald Schumacher in the 1982 World Cup. Right from the off, Petit was playing alongside legends of the game, mostly from an era which seems much earlier than his own.

Years later, though, and just after he’d captained Monaco to the 1997 Ligue 1 title, he was signed by his former manager once again. This time Wenger brought Peti to London – a city much closer to the midfielder’s hometown of Dieppe in the north of France than Monaco was.

You can see why the French manager had so much faith in his young protege. Petit was a quick and athletic player whose versatility and intelligence were what allowed him to stand out from the rest. Back at Monaco, Wenger had used him alongside Hoddle and Puel in the midfield, but had also employed Petit as a centre back in the side’s defeat to Werder Bremen in the 1992 Cup Winners’ Cup final, in what was to be Wenger’s first defeat of three in European competition, where he is the only manager to lose in the final of all three European competitions.

It was at Arsenal where Petit made his name in England, forging a partnership with Patrick Vieira in midfield and helping Arsenal to a league and cup double in 1998, before winning the World Cup with his country in 1998. After that, his autobiography tells of debauchery and a life spent far from the rails enjoying the trappings of the riches that a life as a top footballer provides.

A short spell at Barcelona, where he never fitted in with the dressing room, and then four years at Chelsea, where he played just 55 league games thanks to a series of knee injuries which eventually led to his retirement followed. Petit was never the same player who left Highbury in 2000 and accompanied Marc Overmars to the Camp Nou. Arsenal’s Invincibles side of 2004 will always be the pinnacle of Arsene Wenger’s time in north London, but ironically that was the season in which the Frenchman was forced to retire with a knee injury. His last game for Claudio Ranieri’s Chelsea came in February of that season, where Chelsea eventually finished second to unbeaten Arsenal, and the Italian coach of the Blues was replaced by Jose Mourinho who released Petit from his contract with the club.

If Arsenal had to go back and pick just one player to take from their late 90s early 2000s team to play today, it wouldn’t be Petit. Dennis Bergkamp and Thierry Henry would be heart’s choices, Tony Adams or Patrick Vieira would be chosen by the head. But Petit would be a choice to jolt Wenger into action, remind him of how he used to be.

Petit was a player Wenger moulded and made, a player who gave the coach his best years, and one who never stagnated under him. After Wenger’s departure from Monaco, it was Petit who led the team to a league title under Jean Tigana. The former Fulham manager played in a similar position to Petit, and was a star turn in the exciting France side of the 1980s, coming second in the Ballon d’Or voting in 1984 when Michel Platini won. A classy player who wasn’t afraid to carry out his defensive tasks for the team.

And perhaps that’s the lesson for Arsenal, for Wenger, and indeed for some of the Gunners’ current crop of players. Although Wenger was the man who moulded Petit into a versatile, technical footballer, it was under Tigana where he flourished for the first time, learning to add a steelier side to his game.

Petit retired after Arsenal’s Invincibles triumph, when the game changed for good and Wenger seemed to retire his steeliest side. And although Wenger and Arsenal fans may not necessarily long for the days of Manu Petit, they probably should wish they had a similar midfielder who left Wenger to learn how to play as a defensive midfielder before coming back again later.

According to reports in The Sun, Newcastle United manager Rafa Benitez has rejected an approach from Everton about potentially replacing the under-fire Ronald Koeman at Goodison Park, and Magpies fans have been quick to have their say on the rumour.

The Dutchman’s job with the Toffees is under threat after they won just two of their opening eight Premier League fixtures and took just one point from six available in the Europa League group stages this season, despite a big summer of spending.

However, it doesn’t appear as though they have a chance of getting Benitez to replace him after he turned down the chance to return to Merseyside having already managed Liverpool previously.

The Tyneside outfit have certainly made a positive start to their own top flight campaign and with Mike Ashley looking to sell up, the Spaniard is obviously keen to see what happens with any proposed takeover.

Newcastle supporters took to social media to give their thoughts on the story, and while some said “he’d be a fool to walk away”, others believe an exit was ‘never going to happen’.

Here is just a selection of the Twitter reaction…

Chelsea came from behind to pick up a vitally important English Premier League victory on Saturday, eventually overcoming Watford 4-2 in a pulsating match at Stamford Bridge.

After losing their last two league fixtures, today’s match was heading in a similarly disastrous direction for manager Antonio Conte, who saw his side go a goal behind after Abdoulate Doucoure and Roberto Pereyra put the visitors in front, cancelling out an early Pedro opener.

The Italian manager made an important change on the hour mark with Michy Batshuayi coming on for the ineffective Alvaro Morata to bang in a late double, with Cesar Azpilicueta scoring the vital third in between.

It was a win full of spirit that could turn around the recent poor form of the current champions and see them push on in the race for the title.

While fans were obviously pleased with the win, they weren’t pleased with striker Morata, who laboured to do anything in the match at all before he was hauled off for super sub Batshuayi.

The summer signing has scored seven goals since joining the club but has now gone three matches without netting.

Fans are now looking for more from him, believing he wasn’t standing up to the physical challenge of Watford well enough.

They took to Twitter to share their thoughts on his performance…

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